It’s been 18 months now since I lost my best friend (aside from Adam). She and I were very close though we didn’t always agree. We knew how to state our disagreements and then move on quickly. Singing songs in church is a top 5 thing to do in my life. I love contemporary songs and if you’re in my car, you’ll hear TONS of KLOVE radio and all the latest Christian hits (I do love some country, too). But my absolute fav’s are the old hymns written with such strong, honest theology.
The funny thing about grief is that it can hit at any point, any time, in any place and with no warning. I have walked out of services OFTEN due to hearing a hymn that would take me back to sitting beside Momma at the piano (southerners say “piana”). Grief overwhelms my soul, the tears pour fast and hard, and I feel like I can’t breath. Or I feel like I may throw up. Those of you who have lost someone special, do you remember that feeling the first month or two (and more) when you CONSTANTLY felt like you may vomit, your heart raced, and your mind jumbled all your thoughts? It’s so frustrating because you can’t get your body to stop these symptoms resulting from a truly broken heart.
But, those same old, beautiful, well-written hymns also bring comfort to my hurting heart. It Is Well, Redeemed, Love Lifted Me, The Old Rugged Cross, How Great Thou Art, I Need Thee Every Hour and many more remind me of my constant need for Jesus to breath, let alone walk through grief. They remind me that Jesus cares for my pain, that He is walking right beside me bringing me comfort and that He has prepared for all of us who trust in Him a wonderful place called Heaven to live together after we die. These verses of Biblical truth, while they sting with wonderful memories I have of her, remind me that to grieve someone is to remember the love you shared.